Total Unremarkable Recall

A recent arrival off the remake assembly line, Total Recall proved to be an exercise in unimaginative sci-fi and lackluster action.  While there were no crippling flaws or gaping plot holes, most the film's elements seemed uninspired and trite.  The cast mostly gave wooden performances, and the production design, no longer buoyed by campy creatures and spacey locales, felt too streamlined.  Overall, it was averagely mediocre at best.

(That's right, Colin Farrell is looking directly at the camera.)

At face value, the film was exactly as advertised: a sci-fi remake with all the creatures, goofy tech, and Arnold taken out.  Not even the exotic Mars made the cut.  Hollywood has started looking at Mars as more of a curse since every Mars-centric film released, from 2000's Mission to Mars to this year's John Carter, has been a colossal flop.  As such, the modern Total Recall was an Earth based story with no consideration for potential space travel; a product for the contemporary, consumer-driven culture. 

There were little gadgets in the film, such as a touch-screen refrigerator and a hand implanted mobile phone that project future consumer products and created a significantly less campy tone.  There were no mutants (seriously, where did that third breast come from?), no aliens, no underground drilling machines, no wacky old lady masks.  Many of the sets and CGI used white, grey, or dark blue as a primary color, lacking the vibrant color schemes of the original.  On the one hand, the world was much less interesting to watch and get taken away by.  On the other, it was more grounded and relatable. 

The two locations were Britain, which took over all of Europe in the wake of an apocalyptic global war, and Australia, simply referred to as "The Colony."  It was a rather uncomplimentary juxtaposition of pre-20th century colonial attitudes in a futuristic setting, but that's not the worst of it.  It was completely unclear how the subjugation of Britain over the Colony works.  In the original, it was clear the people of Mars were being held in check by control of the air supply.  Since there was no mechanism of environmental dependence on Earth, there wasn't a strong motivation for the Colonial desire for independence until the very end when the British Chancellor tried to invade for pretty much no reason.  Rebels in the Colony complained of subjugation and economic slavery, but it wasn't clear what the Brits were doing to the Colonists, other than providing jobs.  Since the audience doesn't know what was being fought for, it was difficult to find an emotional investment to root for the underdogs.    

Most of the actors did little to liven things up.  Colin Farrell gave one of his most underwhelming and monotonous performances yet, and female lead, Jessica Biel, did much the same.  Both performers failed to imbue their characters with any emotionality and, at a few points, looked like they were reading their lines for the first time.  Bill Nighy, who played the resistance leader, was criminally wasted on screen.  He flatly said a few lines for one scene and that was it.  Only two actors managed to make the most of their parts: Kate Beckinsale and Bryan Cranston as the main antagonists.  Beckinsale played Farrell's duplicitous fake wife and gave her character a full emotional range.  She was skilled and highly adaptable, but also prideful and hotheaded.  It was clear her motivations were first, a patriotic duty, and later, personal vengeance.  She fused Sharon Stone's and Michael Ironside's characters into a dynamic package, which put her performance above average with the rest of the cast.  Cranston also gave a solid performance, but there wasn't much to his character beyond being a tyrant with a robot army.  

Perhaps the greatest disappointment regarding this remake was that it was so emotionless.  I had hoped that the post-Matrix reinterpretation would put me in a position to be pleasantly surprised.  Unfortunately, it was used as an excuse for monotony.  With everything so single toned, no part of the film really stood out.  Every corresponding scene from the original had more stimuli and general imagination behind it.  Even the infamous "Is it all a dream?" debate was removed; it was very clear that Farrell was experiencing real life, while Arnold was never completely sure (he didn't have a top to spin).  There was also no effort to pull any new material from the original Philip K. Dick story.  All in all, it was a simple remake with a bland taste. 

Rating: C 
Nothing awful about it, but nothing great either, not even a decent one-liner.  Average sauce.  

"Consider that a divorce!"